Outside My Window
In the deep velvet of midnight you were there
Outside my window
I crush my drink container and let it fall. A small rebellion against my confinement, something to upset my parents. Something else for them to be upset about. The sun rolls over the sky and drops through my open hands, passing weightlessly through their horizons. Another day without you
Outside My Window.
Night blue fingernails and rose red gums and coughing that tastes like steel. Its been so long without you
Outside My Window.
Strength returns to my limbs, stealing from my heart. I stare and wait and speak little. They come to my room, talking of treatments and good color, pinching my cheeks. More concern and oatmeal that tastes like metal sugar. The days are hard, the nights endless without you
Outside My Window.
They keep the window locked and ask me not to talk. Speaking of you scares them. They label you figment of my condition. But it is my love that is the condition of seeing you
Outside My Window.
They cheer with concern at my first steps in years and gift me solids that sit bricks and stick to my ribs. The days are long, the sun descends. I do not catch it. Its been so long, I will the night to last for days, hoping to see you
Outside my Window.
The years pass, heavier than the sun. My shoulders cannot take the weight. I talk about the taste of metal and resting for days and how it feels to run again. People clap and call me brave. I do not say that I ran to you. My heart cannot take the wait.
I look in her earthen eyes but dream of your seas. Her generosity doesn't overcome the burning memory of your touch. My smile is plastic. I have not known the meaning since last I saw you
Outside My Window.
I never gave up and now you're there,
Outside My Window.
I have changed so much and you so little. I feel your need and mine rises to match. We kiss. We touch. I give myself to you.
She is concerned and begs me to see help. I smile only and cast my eyes
Outside My Window.
My legs are the first to go. Stuck in a chair once more, leaving them to their crying and pleas. Doctors and priests apologize and shake their heads. They leave me staring
Outside My Window.
My parents, the oatmeal, the crying concerns. Relapse is whispered like I cannot hear. If they knew about you, they would not worry. But I scared you away once before when I told them of the Ashen Woman
Outside My Window.
You thank me with kisses that make me weak, until I cannot leave the bed. A priest is called and babbles silliness with the doctors who look distraught. It is not a draining or a loss but a fulfillment of love so complete it forces out all else. They ask me what I wish and I ask only to be moved so I can look
Outside My Window.
You came and gave me a kiss heavy with the weight and the wait. You stole the last of me, taking it away
Outside My Window.
They cry over the cavity that they put my body in and fill it with dirt. Tears of pain and sadness that need not be.
It's okay.
You gave me the Gift that I too can bestow. And I will. When they look
Outside Their Window.
